I met some people in marching band, a lot of altos. a couple told me they’d teach me how to play alto. I don’t know, I don’t know if I want to do marching band that badly. I was miserable in the Picc section. then again, I had no friends and felt oppressed and disliked by the section leaders.
All our young lives we search for someone to love, someone who makes us complete. We chose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope all the while wondering if somewhere and somehow there is someone searching for us.
why? I mean I should be flattered that they like me….right? well, not if I don’t like them.
It used to get so bad that they’d even ask me on a date, and I’d endure the whole awful thing until it was over, and then via text message, or other message, I’d say something like, “I don’t really want a relationship right now…” or “I don’t really have time for a relationship…” but never, ever “Sorry, I’m not really interested.” or, “I just don’t feel that way about you.” and where has all this beating around the bush got me?
NO WHERE. I still do this, except to a lesser degree. no, now I’m just better at avoiding boys completely. and sometimes, apparently, my body language and lack of interest is not enough.
and it gets to the point where I can’t say no, and then they drive me absolutely bonkers, to the point at which I might say something rude or even mean.